This week in one of our motherhood circles we were talking about the art of the reframe. Most notably, in this summer season of travel, how what pre-children we would call a vacation now should be called a trip - to help us to adjust our expectations and, if we're being honest, to save our sanity when it's more chaotic than relaxing.
We know kids (and many adults) thrive on routine, so when this is disrupted - even for something wonderful! - it's also often hard. Add in our desire to relax and our kids' being thrown off by all of the changes and the "perfect" trip can leave us feeling disappointed, resentful, and more exhausted than when we left.
But it's not all doom and gloom! Travel with kids can revive our sense of wonder, help us form new and deeper relationships, and create the opportunity share our own childhood adventures with them. The challenge is that we often need to put more thought and planning into what we're doing and consider how our expectations (or previous travel experiences) may not match up with our current reality.
We seek out travel tips or hacks to make things easier. And while these are great, sometimes a little self-inquiry and a lot of communication can make a bigger impact than the perfect carseat toy bar or snack combination.
Here's one 3-step idea to help ease some of your travel challenges:
1. Check-in with yourself
Think about a few things you'd really like to do on your trip - whether it's taking a family hike or taking a solo nap. Checking-in with yourself on what will nourish you during your time away from home is the place to start.
2. Communicate your needs/desires
Whether you're traveling with a partner, family, or friends, if it's unspoken it will likely not happen. This can be tricky as we navigate changing relationships and visits after over a year (or more) of not seeing people, but is so worth it. Asking grandparents what they really want out of a visit (REALLY help? Or just hold the baby?), what a partner's ideal beach day looks like, or how 2 families can agree on a dinner time and meal will help everyone get a little closer to understanding each other.
3. Everyone helps each other get what they need
In the early days of mamas circle, one mom shared her strategy for being on the same team as her partner: each person gets to choose one thing per day that they would like to do, then the OTHER person that helps them make that happen. Same can go for any travel companion - so while you help someone else find time for a run, they help you squeeze in an hour to read a book.
It may not be the perfect formula for a vacation trip, but as we return to travel we often have to both adjust our expectations AND communicate them.
What has helped you enjoy travel with kids? Any other ideas for what to do (or not do)?