Oh hello there! It’s been a while!
Writing this note to you has been floating in the middle of my to do list for over 2 months and I’ve started about 5 different times - inevitably getting distracted, interrupted, or just losing steam. And today, as I finally sit down with the commitment to finish, I want to tell you the truth:
I haven’t had time. It wasn’t a priority.
It’s uncomfortable to admit. The shoulds are creeping in (it SHOULD be a priority!). Years ago, I read a piece by writer Laura Vanderkam that has stuck with me ever since. She wrote:
Instead of saying "I don't have time" try saying "it's not a priority," and see how that feels. Often, that's a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don't want to. But other things are harder. Try it: "I'm not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it's not a priority." "I don't go to the doctor because my health is not a priority." If these phrases don't sit well, that's the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don't like how we're spending an hour, we can choose differently.
Time is a choice.
I can’t have 487 priorities at the same time.
I have to let some balls drop.
Over the past 2+ months, instead of writing to you, I’ve chosen to:
launch a mentorship circle
take a 10-day family trip to Colorado
call a friend in need of support
send out lactation consultant recommendations
go rock climbing
read books
attend my son’s preschool graduation
order new business cards
have friends over for pizza
REST.
Here’s the proof:
Of course, not every moment is a choice, but every day we probably have a little bit of time to play with. There could even be something on your to-do list that can wait another day (or 2 months!) to get checked off.
Today, my kids are in camp! And instead of tidying my house, working on our fall schedule, going for a walk, or hundreds of other choices I could have made, I chose to write to you. In this moment, you are my priority!
As we move through parenthood, our priorities will shift and change. When we catch ourselves saying “I don’t have time” we can ask the deeper question of “what is my priority?” If you’re sad, angry or disappointed at not having time for that event or activity, look to make a shift elsewhere to create a little space.
I’d love to hear how you are doing. I’m curious if you’ve been able to adjust to taking trips instead of vacations (if not, there are some good tips in there!). If you’ve been able to find some joy & space this summer or if you’re just in survival mode. It’s all welcome here.
Sending lots of warmth your way!